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Top 10 Funniest Cannabis Cultivar Names

What are the funniest cannabis cultivar names? In our latest blog article, we explore these strange, humorous, and head-scratching names and why it matters.

Jason SanderJason Sander · Feb. 11, 2022 · 4 min read
Top 10 Funniest Cannabis Cultivar Names

What are some of the funniest cannabis cultivar names? Here, we explore the strange, humorous, and sometimes head-scratching names of some favorites.

As most cannabis consumers can tell you, many cultivar names range from humorous, to delicious-sounding, to gross and maybe even offensive. As responsible cannabis consumers, we also understand that the names of the products are a reflection of our brands. Products we all use in our daily lives invest a lot of time and resources into their product names, and cannabis is not any different.

A gross-sounding, explicit, or offensive cultivar name could give the impression to potential customers that you aren’t taking your business seriously. The fact is, cultivar names represent your brand, and some of these names are downright funny. Which of these names are some of the funniest? Keep reading for more.

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1. Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien

Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien is a parody of the movie title Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and is an Indica-dominant hybrid of Tiger’s Milk and Starfighter. This humorously-named cultivar is high in THC, with as much as 25%, meaning this one would be a good choice for nighttime consumption.

2. Gandalf OG

This cultivar gets its kind of funny name from one of the most beloved wizards of all time. Gandalf the Grey is a main character in the classic fantasy novel and films the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit by author J.R.R. Tolkien. Gandalf OG is an Indica-dominant hybrid of the cultivars Louie XII as well as Skywalker OG.

Gandalf OG is another cultivar that has a high THC content, reaching up to 28%, depending on the dispensary the flower comes from. A cultivar best suited for evening consumption, Gandalf OG makes a great choice for re-watching the classic extended edition Lord of the Rings films. Bonus points for consuming Gandalf OG out of pipes that resemble the ones in the stories.

3. Peanut Butter Breath

This cultivar is a 50/50 hybrid cross between Do-Si-Do and Mendo Breath. The name of Peanut Butter Breath is mainly due to its flavor, which is mostly nutty, earthy, and sweet, just like peanut butter. Naturally, there are far worse smells than peanut butter on someone’s breath. However, if it were up to us, we would drop the last word entirely.

4. Barack O’Bubba

Obviously, this funny cannabis cultivar's name comes from former U.S. President Barack Obama, with a unique and humorous cannabis spin. The precise origin of this Indica-dominant cultivar is unknown.

However, since there is Bubba in the name, we would guess that Barack O’Bubba has a lineage that stems from the prestigious Bubba Kush lineage. Bubba Kush cultivars tend to be higher in THC as well, meaning this is another one probably best for after-work or weekend consumption.

5. Schnazzleberry

This cannabis cultivar name is likely a nod to the 420-friendly ice cream brand Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, as the Vermont-based dessert marker carries a flavor with the same name. One of the more light-hearted funny cannabis cultivar names on this list, consumers report Schnazzleberry is a rarity in that it is often sold as pure Indica.

Schnazzleberry flower tends to offer an average THC content of around 20%. Couple this with its delicious flavor, and this cultivar could be a good choice for just about any time of the day. The origins of Schnazzleberry are also relatively unknown. Based on flavor, however, cultivators believe Schnazzleberry has a lineage of the classic cultivars Strawberry Cough and OG Blueberry.

6. Purple Urkle

One of our favorites on this list, Purple Urkle borrows its name from the iconic character Steve Urkle, from the 1990’s sitcom Family Matters. Actor Jaleel White, who plays Steve Urkle on the show, has given his blessing to this cultivar that shares his character’s name. White was the main source of comedic relief on this sitcom that was ahead of its time, frequently delving into challenging issues.

Purple Urkle is a popular purple variety believed to have its origins in Mendocino Purps. In general, purple cultivars tend to be Sativa-dominant, which means Purple Urkle could be a good choice for social consumption and for sparking creativity.

7. Phishhead OG

Taking its name from the cult-favorite jam band Phish, this cultivar has an impressive lineage that can be traced back to that of OG Kush and Afghani. Another Indica-dominant cultivar on this list, THC content in Phishhead OG can get up to 26%, again, depending on which dispensary the flower is sold in.

8. Frosty Jesus

Frosty Jesus is a clone-only cultivar that was originated by the cultivators at Rebel Spirit Cannabis. A hybrid cross of Jesus OG and OG Kush, the buds of Frosty Jesus live up to their name. The Kush side of Frosty Jesus offers a familiar sedative warmth, while the Jesus side delivers a terpene profile of lemon, earthy, and piney.

This cultivar offers a nice relaxing body effect and a clear mental state, which is good for those of us suffering from insomnia. Frosty Jesus may also be a good choice for mid-day microdosing, as many consumers say it helps them feel more creative as well as less fatigued.

9. Laughing Gas

A product of the cultivators at TKO Reserve, Laughing Gas is a play on the substance nitrous oxide, used by dentists. This cultivar has a highly diesel terpene profile, as it smells very pungent and tastes like the classic gas flavor. As a cross between the classic cultivars Sour Diesel and Cherry Pie, this Sativa-dominant cultivar also has notes of sweetness thanks to its Pie side.

Most consumers seem to feel upbeat, energetic, and talkative when enjoying the flower from the Laughing Grass cultivar. As such, this would be a good choice for a party or a session where the conversation and company are enjoyable.

10. Sour Cheese

Perhaps the most disgusting-sounding cultivar names on this list, this semi head-scratcher is likely banking on garnering consumer attention. Interestingly enough, sour cream is tasty, and sour cheese is the opposite, and could possibly make you sick. The Sour Cheese cultivar is a cross between the classic varieties of Cheese and Sour Diesel.

A Sativa dominant hybrid, most consumers report feeling energized and uplifted. As is the case with most Cheese cultivars, this one is a solid choice for creating art, playing music, writing, or vibing with friends.

Why Do Funny Weed Names Matter?

Cannabis cultivar names matter for a few reasons. While funny weed names get a laugh, there should be more thought put into them than just being funny. Here’s why. First of all, the products that cannabis companies sell are direct reflections of the brand. This means the products brands sell may represent the entire brand, meaning staff, investors, partners, and so on.

In our opinion, if a brand’s goal is to scale its businesses, earn investors, and gain partners, we would avoid using a cannabis cultivar name that references some of the more disgusting titles out there. We specifically avoided some of these disgusting and frankly juvenile cultivar names in this article, opting for the more light-hearted ones that still make us giggle.

"With cannabis cultivar names, we hold the power to influence the very people who hold the keys to our business success. We have the opportunity to help shed stoner stereotypes, not perpetuate them."

What’s more, nasty-sounding cannabis cultivar names may perpetuate antiquated stoner stereotypes that cannabis professionals have worked hard to get rid of. Using low-brow cultivar names may conjure up often-mocked thoughts about couch-locked, layabout stoners. We believe this is not the image to represent in the minds of your patients, clients, customers, partners, and investors.

Some of the world’s best-selling brands take the names of their products very seriously and devote millions of dollars to formulating the right ones. For a further look into why product names matter, a great resource is a book The Language of Food, by the linguist Dan Jurafsky.

With cannabis cultivar names, we hold the power to influence the very people who hold the keys to our business success. We have the opportunity to help shed stoner stereotypes, not perpetuate them. Why not name cultivars after something appealing that customers would want to try? Naturally, this is just our brief two cents on the matter. This article is in no way a judgment call on any brands that use offensive cultivar names, or to anyone reading.

HashDash - Connecting the Cannabis Community

We hope you found value in our content about the funniest cultivar names. Did we miss a cultivar name, or do you have any to add? Let us know - @hashdash on all platforms, except for Instagram, where we are @hashdashdotcom.

Check back to our blog often, because we post fresh content frequently!

HashDash is building a vast knowledge database of guides, articles, and a first-of-its-kind cannabis matching platform to pair you up with your perfect cultivars. Don’t forget to sign up for HashDash to discover your cannabis matches.

Thanks for reading! Please consume responsibly. Always treat this incredible plant with the respect it deserves.

Jason Sander
Jason SanderJason is a versatile writer and marketer with over ten combined years of experience working with clients in various industries. He couples this expertise with six years of writing for the cannabis sector as well as a passion for the business side, and the science behind the plant medicine.
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